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   It’s been about 6 days since Adeline tried to kill me and she did a good job with staying away from me. I got my medicine yesterday and I’ve been feeling more content with my depression at bay. I do have a feeling that Adeline will come and try to get back at me for grounding her away for a week, but she knows what she did was wrong and she has to face the consequences. Adeline seemed to take the punishments more to heart since she wasn’t a normal other like most others with depression hosts; since I have a mental disorder, I figured that this was the reason why she was more human the anyone else. No matter how much she tries to hurt me, she’s still a part of me and I love her no matter what. I still remember how we first met.

   I was about 11 and it was a few days before my mother left due to my dad finding out she was drinking, even behind the wheel. I was scared of my mom at the time because she would yell at me for no reason or when I wasn’t cleaning when I should’ve; it also didn’t help the fact that I have a mental disorder and my mind didn’t work like everyone else’s. One day, I was in my room while my mom and dad were arguing and I felt scared and helpless at the time. Suddenly, I heard an echoing voice next to me and a hand landed on my shoulder. When I turned to see who it was, I saw a figure of a girl with gray tinted skin and brown hair. She looked about my age and her clothes were similar to mine, except that hers were black since mine were baby blue. Her hair was just past her shoulders and the tips were emerald green. Her eyes were a dark brown with hints of black.

   I stood from my bed and looked at the girl while she did the same. “Who are you?” I asked in a meek voice and she just smiled kindly then spoke in a voice that echoed throughout the room. “I’m you. Well, I’m a part of you that hides in your brain. My name is Adeline; normally, my name would be backwards of your name, but since that’s not possible, I took the name of your imaginary friend from when you were 6.” I stood there dumbfounded at Adeline as she looks at the door. “Mom is so mean not only to you, but to dad and Allie. You know why?” I shook my head and looked at the door. “It’s that stuff that she drinks. She gets angry and mean when she drinks it.” I nodded and looked at her, feeling very scared since the noise got louder and my head was hurting. “I wish I could do something.” I said and Adeline came up to me. “There’s only one way for it to stop Eve, and you know what it is.”

   I look at Adeline with a confused look on my face. “But I promised mom I wouldn’t tell.” She sighed and hugged me gently. “I know, but your happiness as well as your safety is more important than keeping that promise. Think of Allie as well; she’ll get hurt as well if you don’t tell.” My eyes go wide of the fact that Allie might get hurt as well. I started crying and she hugged me tighter. “You know what you have to do Eve.” I nodded and hugged her back as I cried. That same day, Allie and I told my dad about what mom did. There was worse arguments and it resulted in me hiding in my room, crying while Adeline hug me and rub my head; the crying and fear would make me have bad headaches. Adeline did have times where she was very angry and thought of hurting my mom, but I would stop her and we would listen to music till we calmed down.

   About 5 days, my dad resolved to have to divorce my mom and kicked her out. When I found out about mom, I was both scared that mom wouldn’t be around anymore and relieved that the fear would end. It took a few days for it to sink in that there was no more yelling. Adeline stayed for a while to make sure I stay calm while I do the same for her. The quiet rooms felt weird, but I got over it quickly once I got the hang of it. With mom gone, this also meant I have to be the mother figure to her, even though she was only 2 years younger than me; it was hard to be more grown up when I have my mental disorder and I can barely keep up with the school lessons. Over the years, I go through each day with helping my dad and taking care of Allie. Adeline still came around and when I was diagnosed with depression at age 16, she stayed by my side. There were rare times where my depression got so bad, I wanted to kill myself and Adeline would pressure me into doing it, but to no avail. Now I take medicine to calm myself and she has her own to take if necessary.

   Now I live in my own place and taking care of myself, not struggling with everyday tasks and even enjoying my time alone. Adeline visits often when she and I were calm. During the time I lived on my own, I learned that Allie got diagnosed with depression and was suicidal; it resulted in the appearance of her other Eilla who seemed more emotional than Adeline, but then again, Adeline was not a normal depression other. There was two or three times where Adeline got very emotional and made me feel so bad about myself and my life that I was tempted to kill myself. When those times happened, I have gotten cuts on my arms and legs from Adeline attacking me and I would be in a corner sobbing to where I couldn’t breathe and my vision would go blurry. By that time, Adeline would be held down by either Eilla or my dad when they would come over to say hi or check on me; those times were when my medicine was not enough to calm me, so I gotten stronger prescriptions.

   Today, I did several things to try to calm myself since it would take a while for the medicine to work. I basically made some art, listened to music, and watch some videos on youtube. Once the medicine kicked in, I lay down on the couch and tried to get some rest since lately I haven’t been able to sleep lately. As I rested, I somehow started dreaming of my past with Adeline and all the good memories I had with her. I always knew that Adeline was my more serious side and it was a pain, but she always kept me content when I felt too crazy and energetic. I love Adeline and I couldn’t ask for a better other than her, even if there were times where she did attack me. No matter what may happen between me and her, she’s a part of me and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

I will say, this was one hard story to write since I am revealing some of my past to your guys. what is true about this is that my mom did drink and drive, she did leave when I was 11, and at some point, I did have depression and I probably do now. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this story as well

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Submitted on
May 8, 2016


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